hiya bro...cant tell you just how much i still miss you man. every day is so hard and empty without your presence and every little thing reminds me constantly of you. your laughter. your smile. your humour. your love. your mischevious manner. your ability to know exactly what to say to comfort or advise in times of need. going through this illness again and i long to be able to talk to you as always, to be able to share my feelings with you and to know that you would instantly understand where i am coming from and what i am feeling right now. i miss the fact that you should be here to make me laugh or smile through this devastating turmoil of emotions and physical debilitating era. i still find myself reaching automatically for the phone every time i have a mental conversation with you in my head and then i think let me phone and see how my brother is doing today....before realising you are no longer physically there. yeah...i know you still watching over me bro...i feel your presence as strong and vibrant as ever, almost on a daily basis. i know you feel my pains and worries and concerns and i know that you are still watching over me...not even frightened for myself...i just wanna be strong and positive for my precious children...vanessa and jamahl...or vany and jj as you loved to call them..miss you so much alvin...i know you up there laughing and fooling around with the angels...love you so much bro....sleep peacefully...xxxx